A PORTFOLIO THAT DOES TOO MUCH
Everything here is overbuilt on purpose.
That's the resume.
A deliberately over-engineered portfolio. Every feature you touch runs on a real, separate technology - the point is to show the stack working, not to sell you anything. And somewhere below, a manifesto about AI and hiring.
FLOOR 2
A visitor counter has no business needing seventeen cloud services.
And yet. Here we are. Want to see exactly what I over-built and why?
See the full stack →FLOOR 3 · THE MANIFESTO
I built a website
instead of screaming into a pillow.
The Manifesto about what happened to the hiring process, written down before I forgot to stay calm about it. It's the honest part of this site.
AI writes the resumes. AI reads the resumes. Nobody reads the resumesRead the Manifesto →
FLOOR 4 · THE AI SCREENER
This one's on your side for once.
Companies use AI to screen you. So here's mine. It answers questions about the stack and about me - sign in and make it prove itself.
Pepper Potts, on duty
Sign-in is required here, not to collect your data, but so one bored person cannot run up my token bill.
The assistant is locked until you sign in.
FLOOR 5 · LIVE NUMBERS
A dashboard nobody asked for
Hover to inspect the pain
Hover a slice to see the full comedic breakdown.
| Category | Share |
|---|---|
| Empty DoD in Jira tickets | 27% |
| package-lock.json | 21% |
| Resolving merge conflicts | 19% |
| Deciding how many story points | 13% |
| YAML indentation | 8% |
| Someone else's regex | 7% |
| Centering a div | 5% |
Statistically rigorous. Peer-reviewed by me.
FLOOR 6 · WANT TO HIRE ME?
Cool. You go first.
For once, the company fills out the application. Salary range required. "Competitive" is not a number.
Fill out the hire form →FLOOR 7 · THE BILL IS REAL
This joke has a monthly invoice.
No products, no perks, no NFT. Just a developer paying AWS every month for the privilege of making this point.
If it landed - chip in.
If not, the counter still counted you.
FLOOR 8 · MADE YOU LOOK
You made it to the bottom.
Now ruin someone else's afternoon.
Send this to a recruiter, a friend, or that one manager who asked for "GitHub side-projects".
They'll know what they did.